An Old City Bar...

If we could somehow make this Christmas thing last... if only there was a way for people to remember what it is to care, and why helping others and caring for others is a reward... that feeling has a way of spreading. I had more to say, but I think that's enough.

Old City Bar
By Trans-Siberian Orchestra

In an old city bar
That is never too far
From the places that gather
The dreams that have been

In the safety of night
With its old neon light
It beckons to strangers
And they always come in

And the snow it was falling
The neon was calling
The music was low
And the night
Christmas Eve

And here was the danger
That even with strangers
Inside of this night
It's easier to believe

Then the door opened wide
And a child came inside
That no one in the bar
Had seen there before

And he asked did we know
That outside in the snow
That someone was lost
Standing outside our door

Then the bartender gazed
Through the smoke and the haze

Through the window and ice
To that corner streetlight

Where standing alone
By a broken pay phone
Was a girl the child said
Could no longer get home

And the snow it was falling
The neon was calling
The bartender turned
And said , not that I care
But how would you know this?
The child said I've noticed
If one could be home
They'd be already there

Then the bartender came out from behind the bar
And in all of his life he was never that far
And he did something else that he thought no one saw
When he took all the cash from the register drawer

Then he followed the child to the girl across the street
And we watched from the bar as they started to speak
Then he called for a cab and he said J.F.K.
Put the girl in the cab and the cab drove away
And we saw in his hand
That the cash was all gone
From the light that she had
wished upon

If you want to arrange it
This world you can change it
If we could somehow make this
Christmas thing last

By helping a neighbour
Or even a stranger
And to know who needs help
You need only just ask

Then he looked for the child
But the child wasn't there
Just the wind and the snow
Waltzing dreams through the air

So he walked back inside
Somehow different I think
For the rest of the night
No one paid for a drink

And the cynics will say
That some neighborhood kid
Wandered in on some bums
In the world where they hid

But they weren't there
So they couldn't see
By an old neon star
On that, night, Christmas Eve

When the snow it was falling
The neon was calling
And in case you should wonder
In case you should care

Why we on our own
Never went home
On that night of all nights
We were already there

I'll be home for Christmas

I listened to Christmas music for the first time this week... I'm one of those people that normally starts in November. I'm not religious... it's just the feeling that that sound gives me that I enjoy so much, it takes me back to much simpler times. Things are changing now, those memories and the feeling that music and the season provides me is fading. Given recent events I don't think this will be a one-time deal... The holiday season hasn't been kind, and home isn't a home anymore, yet it's hard to complain when there are those out there dealing with things much worse than I have experienced, or possibly may ever experience. I'll comment more on that in a few days, on Christmas.

So I find myself haunted again this Christmas season, but not by the memories of youth and the opportunities and experience that brought... instead I am haunted by the present, and the recent memories it has created. The kind that are hard to push to the back of your mind, the kind that will linger long after the season is gone, and will strengthen with the return of the season next year. I remember... and I wish I could forget.

I Remember by Stabbing Westward

Do you ever wonder where
We would be if we had tried
A little harder?
It seems like yesterday
That we were making plans
For the future

But it's been so long
Since I have mourned the dreams
Those dreams we left abandoned

And I'm haunted by your face
And the memory of your kisses
Sweet kisses

Do you remember?
I still remember so much
I remember never feeling so alive
Do you remember?
I still can't forget your touch
We swore that we would never end
We knew our love transcended space and time

As memories slip away
The ghost of what we were
Is fading

But there is no more pain
Which is funny 'cause that night
I was dying
I was dying

Now I don't even recognize
The girl I swore that someday
I would marry

But I can't forget her face
And I can't forget her kisses
Sweet kisses

Do you remember?
I still remember so much
I remember always feeling so alive
Do you remember?
I still can't forget your touch
We swore that we would never end
We knew our love transcended space and time

Do you remember?
I still remember so much
I remember never feeling so alive
Do you remember?
I still can't forget your touch
Or how we swore that we would never be alone
Do you remember?
I still remember so much
I remember never feeling so alive
Do you remember?
'Cause I still can't forget your touch
Or how we swore that we would never end
We knew our love transcend space and time

We swore that we would never end
We knew our love transcended space and time

Do you remember?

God I remember so much

I remember so much...

Finals.... Need I say more?

As if things haven't been going poorly already... it's finals week, which means late-night coffee-fueled all-nighters as one struggles to find the melding of what is possible to get done to what is expected of your work (and what you expect of yourself).


So here is my final character at I'd say 85% done.
Original concept belongs to original artist. He is half lo-poly,
half sub-div proxy, and he's almost ready to combine.

The remaining 15% is the rest of his crazy hair (the bear/eyebrow peice is
at least double the polys of the face :O ), and after that I need to add details, like
wrinkles and such. Then I have 3 other classes to worry about. Joy!

oh, AND.... check out Journeyman on NBC, which I think airs on Monday nights?! It's quantum leap for the modern generation, and stars Lucius Verenus of Rome... be sure to check out his girlfriend from the past who met him in the future (watch the show) she is super-dee-duper hotttt! Is that how you're supposed to say that?

Anyways... probably more at some point soon...
Also visit my Portfolio site at it's temporary address (under construction of course.)

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Listening to: Andres Segovia - The Segovia Collection Vol 4 - 18 - Bach-Cello Suite No 6 Gavotte
via FoxyTunes

What does a kiss mean?

This blog is obsolete to attempt to post all of your spam comments, head to the new blog http://www.jamesindigital.com where spammers are dealt with and executed... thanks!!.

**WARNING THE FOLLOWING CONTAINS NOTHING INTERESTING**
What does a kiss mean? A kiss is the representative of love. It is one of the most simple explanations for a most complex feeling and state of being. It is a simple act that encompasses the overwhelming feelings that cannot be given voice. Think about it. A kiss can convey every emotion that love makes us feel. It can be passionate, sad, playful, or filled with regret. It is hello... it is goodbye. It doesn't just represent love... a kiss is love. The world has lost the kiss... you see people making out with random strangers as a spectacle on tv... people kiss regardless of commitment, honor, integrity or decency. We have lost the kiss.
Here are what some more eloquent people than I think about the kiss...

Never Try To Trick Me With A Kiss by Sylvia Plath
Never try to trick me with a kiss
Pretending that the birds are here to stay;
The dying man will scoff and scorn at this.

A stone can masquerade where no heart is
And virgins rise where lustful Venus lay:
Never try to trick me with a kiss.

Our noble doctor claims the pain is his,
While stricken patients let him have his say;
The dying man will scoff and scorn at this.

Each virile bachelor dreads paralysis,
The old maid in the gable cries all day:
Never try to trick me with a kiss.

The suave eternal serpents promise bliss
To mortal children longing to be gay;
The dying man will scoff and scorn at this.

Sooner or later something goes amiss;
The singing birds pack up and fly away;
So never try to trick me with a kiss:
The dying man will scoff and scorn at this.


Said the Rose by George B. Miles
And when evening came she set me
In a vase
All of rare and radiant metal,
And I felt her red lips settle
On my leaves till each proud petal
Touched her face.

To A Kiss by Robert Burns
Humid seal of soft affections,
Tend'rest pledge of future bliss,
Dearest tie of young connections,
Love's first snow-drop, virgin kiss.

Speaking silence, dumb confession,
Passion's birth, and infants' play,
Dove-like fondness, chaste concession,
Glowing dawn of brighter day.

Sorrowing joy, adieu's last action,
Ling'ring lips, -- no more to join! What words can ever speak affection Thrilling and sincere as thine!

And finally... a quote
"What lies lurk in kisses." - Heinrich Heine

Is this thing on?? +lyrics

So... Don't get the feeling anyone is out there except Chris maybe once a week when he is tired of trying to get things working in source... oh well... maybe it's worth it anyway. Between rigging, web development, and pipeline work in my classes I'm not feeling very artistic for a Fine Arts major... Advanced Modeling is as close as it's gonna get, and considering my lack of organic modeling experience (read: heads and the rest of anatomy is hard to do in 3d), I am certainly keeping on my toes. The latest assignment is the celebrity head. With my love of Phil and Genesis on full unabashed display I chose to model the man himself, my latest WIP is displayed here. You can get a larger look here.

I was going to post some lyrics the Police, but this is a Phil kinda post. eh?


I WISH IT WOULD RAIN DOWN

You know I never meant to see you again
But I only passed by as a friend
All this time I stayed out of sight
I started wondering why

Now I, Now I wish it would rain down, down on me
Yes I wish it would rain, rain down on me now
Yes I wish it would rain down, down on me
Yes I wish it would rain on me

You said you didn't need me in your life
I guess you were right
I never meant to cause you no pain
But it looks like I did it again

Now I, Now i know, i wish it would rain down, down on me
Yes I wish it would rain, rain down on me now
Yes girl I wish it would rain down, down on me
Yes I wish it would rain on me

Though your hurt is gone, mines hanging on, inside
And I know, it's eating me through every night and day
I'm just waiting on your sign

'Cos I know, I know, I never meant to cause you no pain
And I realize I let you down
But I know in my heart of hearts
I know I'm never gonna hold you again

Now I, Now i know, i wish it would rain down, down on me
Ohh I wish it would rain, rain down on me now
Ohh I wish it would rain down, down on me
Yes I wish it would rain down, rain down over me

Just rain down over me
Just let it rain down...

GPT Update & More Lyrics of the Day

I actually felt somewhat useful today in Game Production Team, and as a whole the project made some nice strides, there are many issues remaining to be tackled, but we must be happy that accomplishments are being made. GPT is much like the rest of life: work is long and frustrating, and the fruits of labor often overshadow the work of the seeds being sown to start the process. Those achievements are often attributed to others. The trick is finding a way to be satisfied with that fruit, no matter who receives the accolades for its production...

In the end one must ask themselves whether those achievements in private are enough to keep moving forward with, and ultimately will they satisfy us... creatively, emotionally, intellectually, spirtually.... whatever. I am hoping that many small victories will be enough to outweigh the large losses... that's life and that's this project for now...

And today's Lyrics brought to us by Colin Hay, formerly of Men at Work.

WAITING FOR MY REAL LIFE TO BEGIN

Any minute now, my ship is coming in
I'll keep checking the horizon
I'll stand on the bow, feel the waves come crashing
Come crashing down down down, on me

And you say, be still my love
Open up your heart
Let the light shine in
But don't you understand
I already have a plan
I'm waiting for my real life to begin

When I awoke today, suddenly nothing happened
But in my dreams, I slew the dragon
And down this beaten path, and up this cobbled lane
I'm walking in my old footsteps, once again
And you say, just be here now
Forget about the past, your mask is wearing thin
Let me throw one more dice
I know that I can win
I'm waiting for my real life to begin

Any minute now, my ship is coming in
I’ll keep checking the horizon
And I'll check my machine, there's sure to be that call
It's gonna happen soon, soon, soon
It's just that times are lean

And you say, be still my love
Open up your heart, let the light shine in
Don't you understand
I already have a plan
I'm waiting for my real life to begin

Changes and Lyrics of the Day

Excuse me as the blog goes on indefinite emo-watch. It may also undergo changes as I attempt to integrate it into my personal/professional webpage for my portfolio classes.

With that declaration here are lyrics of the day...


Afterglow by Genesis

Like the dust that settles all around me
I must find a new home
The ways and holes that used to give me shelter
Are all as one to me now

But I, I would search everywhere
Just to hear your call
And walk upon stranger roads than this one
In a world I used to know before
I miss you more

Than the sun reflecting off my pillow
Bringing the warmth of new life
And the sounds that echoed all around me
I caught a glimpse of in the night
But now, now I've lost everything
I give to you my soul
The meaning of all that I believed before
Escapes me in this world of none, no thing, no one

And I would search everywhere
Just to hear your call
And walk upon stranger roads than this one
I a world I used to know before
For now I've lost everything
I give to you my soul
The meaning of all that I believed before
Escapes me in this world of none
I miss you more

Good TV returns...

Well I am already about 3 weeks into the new term, and wanted to post some reviews of stuff I had watched / listened to / whatever. However that list got quite large over my break, and now I find myself short on time... But here are some summaries...

Burn Notice: two words Bruce Campbell! Bruce gets to be... Bruce, which is always worth watching, and the rest of the show, not bad either. Gabrielle Anwar is sometimes hit-and-miss with the Irish accent but, the plotlines are pretty good and the end of the season questions make me anxious for next summer.

Dexter: What can I say, like Suspect Zero this is about a serial killer of serial killers essentially, unlike Suspect Zero this is highly comedic. A black comedy that excels at all parts of the formula. Enjoyed this so much, I have put in for the original novel at the local library... who knows if I will ever get time to read it.

Life: Nice new show on NBC, interesting plot, with a couple of great characters... check this one out if you have the time, it's well worth it. I wish I could stick to a regular tv schedule to see this.

Hope to update again real soon, with some music/games/movies thoughts... and if anyone is out there, would love some responses, even if I have already talked to you about any of this, or by contrast have no clue who you are.
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Listening to: Genesis - Seconds Out - Live (Disc 1) (1977) - 04 - Afterglow
via FoxyTunes

Insomnia

So in my sleep-deprived brain I have realized that as I am mid-way through the first week of my break... and as such I should get back to watching my queue of Netflix movies, including the 3 films which have been sitting on my coffee table for nearly a month.

First on the list is the Criterion Collection's presentation of Insomnia, the original, released in 1997 and starring Stellan Skarsgård, whom most will remember as Bootstrap Bill in the last two of the Pirates of the Caribbean trilogy.

Now I like the original, although Pacino has become a caricature of himself and Robin Williams often tries too hard to be serious when not in a comedy. Hillary Swank was adequate, the over-all story was well put together.

The essence of the story is there from this original version. We loose some of the backstory explaining to us the motivations and situation of the main detective, this makes the shooting of his partner feel more sinister by it's cover-up. There is no big dramatic death scene between the Swank and Pacino characters in the original either. Simply the knowledge that the female character knows what Skarsgård's character did. No contrived death-bed Hollywood confession, just the acceptance that the bad guy was caught, and he is going to have to deal with the guilt... the haunting of what has occurred.

I rated the original slightly higher than the remake. Skarsgård is much more commanding of the screen here, even if his motivation doesn't really feel given to us.

Fawlty Towers

The Watch Now function of Netflix has become a fascination for me... it might become an obsession should they choose to up the quality and variety of things available to watch. Mostly I have been watching documentaries and TV shows with the feature. The Office both British and American versions, and most recently Fawlty Towers.

Now I am a life-long Python fan, having been raised on the stuff (for good or ill I have yet to fully understand.) I remember seeing bits and pieces of Fawlty Towers when I would stay up to late and turn it to OPB. I didn't remember liking it, but I didn't remember disliking it either.

Watching now I am happy to say that it is excellent. I love reading moronic reviews of things on Netflix. Someone was complaining of the slap-sticky nature of the whole thing. True, physical comedy is a John Cleese forte, but this character, formed from a hotel manager that crossed paths with python is much more... subtle dialogue here and there, and excellent character interaction make it a more sophisticated work than Python (but I will always love MP more...)
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Now playing: Trevor Jones - [The Dark Crystal - The Original Album #01] The Dark Crystal Overture [foobar2000 v0.9.4.2]
via FoxyTunes