Suffocated by Knowledge

Why do the terrible things that we were sure was happening, our worst fears that are already known as fact, hurt so much more when they are given voice. The action, the dark vision is the same, in mind and in word... why does that vocalization enhance the pain; it changes nothing, and it changes everything. How can it make any sense; why doesn't it make any sense? Why do we know what is supposed to happen, even though it doesn't? Again, how does one begin to dismantle the foundation of a future already laid out; those dreams cemented and bolted to the ground. The realization comes that you don't. You somehow have to build on what is already there, and what you have is the shakiest and most poorly constructed futures, because the building materials and styles don't match up... but you don't have the tools to make it all the same, and to ever make it work 100%, unless you go back to that original foundation, and build with the tools you had then.

The tools are broken, the foundation has somehow cracked. I am renewing my fight to patch them. That future is too important, it has to be mended so that the building can continue. If I can't find a way everything in me says that I will have to walk away from it forever... no foundation, and so no home to build on, and thus no real life... it's hard to even fathom.

Where are you this moment?
Only in my dreams.
You're missing, but you're always
A heartbeat from me.
I'm lost now without you,
I don't know where you are.
I keep watching, I keep hoping,
But time keeps us apart

Is there a way I can find you,
Is there a sign I should know,
Is there a road I could follow
To bring you back home?

Winter lies before me
Now you're so far away.
In the darkness of my dreaming
The light of you will stay

If I could be close beside you
If I could be where you are
If I could reach out and touch you
And bring you back home

Is there a way I can find you
Is there a sign I should know
Is there a road I can follow
To bring you back home
to me.

by Enya